COTA = Car-Only Town Assholes!

The Feds recently killed what little hope there was of Columbus ever having a commuter rail system, an action that effectively ensures that Columbus will stay a car-only town until the coming of the four horsemen.

It's kind of a sad state of affairs for COTA, an organization that's trying so hard to provide mass transit in a state where cars outnumber people. Columbus already ranks dead last in availability of public transit, and once Phoenix opens their light rail project in 2008, Columbus will be the largest city in the country without an urban rail system. Even Morgantown, West Virginia has a goddamn people mover:

Apparently someone left their microfridge on the Disney World monorail

You can't really fault the folks at COTA; afterall, they're grossly underfunded - a fact they're none too shy about relaying to the general public. From their website's FAQ:

Q: Why doesn't COTA provide 24-hour service?
A: With a modest 0.25 percent sales tax, COTA does not currently have the resources to implement 24-hour service.

In case you missed the subtlety, let me rephrase the answer in more vernacular terms:

Q: Why doesn't COTA provide 24-hour service?
A: Fuck you.

On a brighter note, a fact they haven't relayed much to the general public is that they're powering their bus fleet on 90% bio diesel, which is pretty freaking awesome.

So in conclusion, the next time a tax levy comes on the ballot for more COTA funding, please vote yes. Also, try to avoid asking yourself the same goddamn question that I'm sure the majority of Columbus residents will probably be asking themselves:

"If God wanted us to take the bus, why'd Jesus give us Hummers?"