Parma: Ohio's Mega Suburb 5000

With well over 80,000 residents, Parma is easily the largest suburb of Cleveland and, thanks to the likes of Drew Carey and members of the Ghouliardi fan club, probably the most famous.

Ant's eye view of a typical Parma resident

Like New York City's Levittown, Parma benefited greatly from a massive in-flux of young families after World War II. In Cleveland, Parma residents are understood to be working class old Polish guys who wear white socks and black shoes while watering their plastic pink flamingo covered lawns. With its maze-like cul-de-sacs, non-existent racial diversity, and ancient shopping mall (the aptly named "Parmatown") it's a template for American suburban living, for better or worse. The city is so densely packed with residential streets that there's even a road called "Amrap": Parma spelled backwards.

So why should you care? If you lived in the eastern United States or Ontario during 2003, this little suburb had a very profound effect on your day-to-day life when a cluster fuck at one of its generating plants caused this:

Thanks Parma!

Having grown up in Parma, this really didn't really surprise me at all considering Parma residents probably didn't realize that their little blackout extended into Cleveland, let alone a decent chunk of the North American continent. Why? Because Parma people never leave friggin' Parma!

But hey, that's Parma for ya. Stay sick.