Ohio Reaches New Low: Trashiness Causes Highway Accident

Yesterday, a car driving down interstate 75 in Toledo swerved, flipped several times, and then landed in an embankment. The two men inside the car fortunately walked away with only a few broken bones, but they could have just as easily been killed.

At first, I'm sure police were confused by the accident, as the object the driver had swerved to avoid wouldn't have been immediately obvious. Only after several interviews would the truth have been revealed: the driver had swerved to avoid a flying bra.

The undergarment in question had formerly been attached to the antenna of a car driving in front of them piloted by 17 year old Tabitha Adams.

I can only gather that the two men were engaged in a heated discussion involving a lot of hand gestures. One of these hand motions must have been mistaken by Tabitha's passenger Emily Davis for a well known red neck mating call, the infamous "show me your tits" gesture. This was all the encouragement young Emily needed, for so eager was she to expose herself, she removed her bra without any further provocation. With the car still in motion, Emily then attempted to attach the bra to the car's antenna, which resulted in the bra flying through the air, causing the unsuspecting car behind them to swerve, thus leading to the aforementioned accident.

Emily Davis was charged with littering, as of course there are no laws in Ohio prohibiting excessive bad taste.

I'm proud to say the two bright young women who perpetrated this brilliant act of terrorism are from Bowling Green, Ohio (not Kentucky), where I attended college. Bowling Green's principle exports are corn, more corn, sexually transmitted diseases, and apparently white trash teenagers that like to expose their breasts to unsuspecting motorists.

And my degree grows more valuable by the day.